I often wonder how low down I can get- you know, where's the point right before I really hit the curb. I scour the streets for the insider scoop, I unload the industry dirt, and maintain a professionalism endemic among the most highbrow of journalists. This is a thankless task at best; especially when all you hear about is Napster.

Personally, I could care less what happens with the Napster lawsuits. The media is blanketed with the face of Shawn Fanning, and likewise, every news web site has boldly exploited the Napster logo in hopes of garnering page views. For shame! I may be low down on the street, but I'll never whore myself to the man! However, as a member of the press and despite my latent discontent, I should bring the people the dirt they deserve. It is after all, my duty.

I am always pleased to see a competent artist speak in favor of Napster. In recent weeks, bands like Limp Bizkit posted statements that were sub-literate and defamed the very fans they intended to represent. There is nothing worse than rallying around a cause, then realizing that your leader is but a mumbling troglodyte.

Courtney Love: Defying the Juggernaut.

Fortunately, Courtney Love of the band Hole has stepped forward and presented one of the most eloquent opinions on the matter. At the Digital Hollywood Conference in New York, NY, she spoke for nearly an hour on the folly of the music industry. In a Rolling Stone piece, she states, "It's become quite fashionable lately for artists to express outrage at music piracy, and I'm a fashionable gal. Stealing artists' music without paying for it fairly is absolutely piracy, and I'm talking about major-label recording contracts, not Napster." She went on to discuss her move away from the industry and announced her break from Geffen Records. Finally, a sensible artist has spoken out against the nefarious Record Industry Association of America (RIAA).

Eminem and Parent.

However, whenever a beacon of hope breaks forth from the obscuring mist, another great storm is sure to follow. Rapper Eminem has vehemently lambasted Napster for Internet piracy and has violently spoken out against those who would usurp his own promotional control. Apparently, his entire new album, The Marshall Mathers LP, has already made its way around the Napster community some five days prior to public release. Though, we should take Eminem's frenetic whining with a grain of salt. Who knows, he could have been put up to this by Dre. After all, it was the doctor who helped Eminem reach the mainstream audience. Perhaps Howard King, lawyer to both Metallic and Dre, posted Eminem's album early, just to ignite the controversy. He may be a Scientologist, you know. In any case, the insults have been thrown wildly. And, take special note that of all the irritated artists, Eminem has the dirtiest mouth by far.

Sadly, there isn't much else to discuss. MP3.com is being sued, Napster is being sued, no one seems to care about all the other file-sharing applications that are blatantly violating copyrights and more derivatives of the Love Bug are polluting my inbox. Oh well, I hope next week brings a mudslide because I need a lot more dirt in my life. Until next week, I'm Frank Bourbon, hard on the street ad astra per aspera.

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Giving the finger: "Whoever put my sh*t on the Internet, I want to meet that motherf**ker and beat the sh*t out of him because I picture this scrawny little dickhead going, 'I got Eminem's new CD! I got Eminem's new CD! I'm going to put it on the Internet.' I think that anybody who tries to make excuses for that sh*t is a f**king bitch." - Rapper Eminem, calmly discussing his feelings after his latest, unreleased LP was made available through Napster. Now that's a free lesson.

Frank Bourbon is always hard on the street -- digging through the trash, uncovering the dirt, and sifting through the music industry debris. To add your dirt to the pile, shoot him an e-mail at frank_bourbon@zdnet.com.

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